Your Typical Dysfunction
by Corpse In Bright Clothing
Summary: YEAH. Totally just deleted the summary here. But really you should read these; they're fun little stories.
1. Blue

**Take One: Blue**

Oh, how the lonely Dunsparce wormed along the earth at sunrise! He wouldn't say he was lonely, but he wouldn't say anything else. In the same way, his big, round eyes never opened anymore. He would only weakly flap his wings and repeatedly plummet face first into the dirt.

His heart would beat, hour after hour. Yet he had never loved anything. Long ago he caved into himself, and resigned himself to his cave underground. Of course, he seemed easygoing enough, and other pokemon came to him often, but he'd given up on trust. And he wanted to bleed!

Eyes slipped for a tiniest opening for hopefulness. He heard a human voice, the sun burned him, and if he could he would have kicked himself. His stupid heart pounded with excitement, and he longed to have an owner. He longed, he leapt, and he dug into the dirt.

**[The End]**


	2. For Charmeleon

**Take Two: For Charmeleon**

Our pubescent female trainer Melody had been laying around with her pokemon for hours. She might have been able to handle being outside in the rain long enough to reach the gym. However, she knew her pokemon weren't strong enough and there was no way she would train them right now. She was waiting out the rain. And in being the teenager she was there was nothing else she could do. Naturally she continued the laying about in her room.

Her pokemon weren't as content to do that. After a while they started getting restless. Her Charmeleon, Nincada and Sentret - nicknamed Guy, Nickel and Noodle, respectively - exercised and did something almost like sparring off with each other. Oh, the glorious and violent ways their owner had brought them up in.

"You wanna train in here? That's cool. Just - be careful of the … posters. Oh! And all the dolls. Well, oh, whatever, who needs the dolls? Erm, I guess I could give them to my sister, though. … Whatever. … Was that four swipes, Nickel? I'm proud of you! Ooh. Nice, Noo - Whoa, Guy, whoa! You - I'll … never get used to that."

Her eyes bugged out, although her eyes looked nothing like those of her actual bug pokemon. It was so much better than a train wreck, the way Melody couldn't take her eyes off …

"I think we need to get you some pants." She smirked at the skeptical look she received from her Charmeleon. "Okay, maybe some torn denim shorts. That way you'll still look edgy. Sound good?"

Guy gave a noncommittal grunt.

Concluding that the walking in the rain to and from the clothing store - or the mall, or wherever she ended up - would clear her head, Melody shrugged on her coat. She just couldn't take the nakedness anymore. It was _distracting_. And she was hormo - It was just - He was just - _Oh_, she could already feel the … cold, cold rain.

**[To Be Continued … Only In Your Imagination]**


	3. The Pest And The Pansy

**Take Three: The Pest And The Pansy**

This Monferno could have been the favorite of his tribe. He had the glossiest of orange coats, the bossiest white neck fur. Always the most amiable, he had the gentlest of temperaments. It also wasn't a stretch to say he had the best male body of his species. However, he had what some called a problem; he was gay.

And oh yes, he had a crush, one that would never have been condoned even if they had been of opposite genders. But the shape of his head, those killer pink eyes, and his strange sense of humor brought Monferno's fiery heart down to glistening ember. He had been controlling his feelings far too long. He had to tell his Ivysaur before his self-destruction.

Monferno found Ivysaur with his best friend of a Croconaw. As usual, the two were geeking out about something. Monferno could already feel the flame of his heart dying; his Ivysaur was so endearing. Monferno opened his mouth and the words came bursting from his mouth like a flamethrower attack.

"Vaun, I have to tell you. I really like you. And I don't care what the rest of my tribe says; I want to be with you. Would … you like-"

"No," the Croconaw interrupted in a very matter-of-fact manner. "He would not like."

Monferno was suddenly aghast and white as ashes. "What?"

"You're ugly." Croconaw then bit Monferno's left arm, ensuring the only thing he would ever receive from his tribe to be reluctant pity.

Croconaw and Ivysaur then walked away.

For several minutes they were silent before Ivysaur finally spoke. "Why did you do that? I told you I l-"

"He's not good enough for you."

Ivysaur suppressed a death glare. … "Alright, Captain Krabby." … Pesky bitch.

**[To Be Continued … In An Alternate Universe]**


End file.
